Firsts

not feeling well

Being a first time parent means everything is new. EVERYTHING. Every sound, every cry, giggle, gurgle, yawn, sigh. Some things are fascinating. Watching your child discover their fingers, or learn how to grasp something. Seeing them roll over from their back to their stomach. Their heads turning at the sound of your voice, or when they start following your movements. Some things, however, have you laying awake at night. Like the first night home from the hospital or the first time your little love sleeps in the crib. Or right now for me, the first time he has a head cold. Poor Brody managed to go almost six months without getting sick. Now he is stuffy, congested and has the saddest little cough. It breaks my heart that he is not feeling well and not only can he not tell me how he feels, but he can't tell me how to make it better. He's even starting to get wheezy. All of this, every bit of it is new to me. New to Jeff. We are full of questions. Do we rush him straight to the doctor, do we wait it out? Can we give him something to help? Can we use Vicks VaporRub to help clear him up? Does the wheezing mean something serious? Should we wait unless he gets a fever? Thankfully, we have both our moms to call and ask a millions questions too. And then, of course, there's the Internet and ask a nurse. But even with all of these resources, it doesn't change the feeling of complete helplessness as a mother. All I want is for my baby to feel better. I just want to hold him close and absorb it away from him. I also know, as a mother, that this feeling will probably be a constant companion through out life. His first cold his only the beginning. There will be bumps and bruises. Hurt feelings and broken hearts. I know that I will not always be able to make everything better, much to my dismay. But I will be able to always be there for him. Whether it be open arms to hold him, an open mind to hear him, and always ALWAYS an open heart with only love for him.