Mr. And Mrs.

I thought it would be easier to write about my wedding day. To capture the emotion. Instead every time I sit down I end up at a loss for words and go off on some random detail of the wedding day, hence the part 1 and 2. Not that the details aren't important, but my feelings...the way my heart raced while I was waiting in the bridal room, those are what I want to remember. Saturday September 7 was a day full of anticipation. My hair turned out better than I had hoped. Doing my own makeup went more smoothly than I imagined. Putting my dress on was surprisingly full of laughter! The first "ahhhh" moment was drowned out with laughter when we realized I had forgotten to put on the puffy petticoat first! Take two - diving into it was a little harder, but still every bit as special. The build up of anticipation for my dad to see me for the first time. His baby girl now a bride. I had the biggest smile on my face when he saw me. So big my cheeks hurt! And of course the brimming tears...no spillover!

I'm a very lucky girl in that I have an amazing relationship with my dad. He's always been my rock. I am a lot like him. Quick to forgive, always choosing to see the goodness in people, full of second chances, quiet unless passionate about something. With my dad I  feel like we don't always have to be talking. There's a calming silence; looks full of understanding. Having my dad walk me down the aisle was one thing I can say I daydreamed about. Having my arm in his, leading me to my husband, it took away all my nerves. It cleared my heart to only feel joy. 

I'm getting ahead of myself though. I had gone back and forth over whether or not I wanted Jeff to see me before the actual ceremony. I had always had my heart set on our first look being as I walked down the isle. However, after talking to my married friends and sister-in-laws, I decided to have a private meeting beforehand. It's what Jeff wanted and I am honestly glad we decided to do it. It gave us time alone to just think about our day. To stare at each other and try to take in all that was happening. It took away some of the butterflies. It let us relax and laugh and just be. 

And by the time all of the pictures were over we were ready! It was time. All of the planning, all of the work and anticipation came down to Saturday, September 7 at 5:00. I had to go back into the bridal room by myself while the wedding party got lined up and prepared to march. OH MY GOSH! I was overtaken with nerves. Not cute butterflies in my stomach but more like "I need a bucket, I'm going to vom!" I was shaking, I felt dizzy and light headed. I was scared. And more than anything I just wanted to be with Jeff, my soul-mate. My sister-in-law Kelly popped her head in to give me a pep talk. The go to affirmation was "you had a baby, you can do this" haha. Which I repeated to myself over and over! Then she started to tear up so I made her leave haha. I knew I would cry if she cried. So alone I waited, straining to hear the music I had picked for the parents to be seated to Fleetwood Mac, then the music for our wedding party, Ray Lamontagne. And hearing it...I started to smile. I started to calm down. I picked those songs. This was MY day. And I was ready. I was ready to see Jeff up on the altar as I made my way to him. FINALLY I was beckoned. I heard my bridal march song start up,The Winner Is, and my heart skipped a beat. Just like it always did when I would listen to that song. This was it. I kept my eyes on my dad and with a happy heart, I made my last walk as Riley Waltner. 

I am sure what the minister said was insightful. And I did my best to try and pay attention. But all that really mattered to me (besides worrying about the sweat pouring off my body) was Jeff. And we stared into each others eyes. We smiled, we laughed. We made "oh my gosh it's hot out, why won't he wrap this up" faces at each other. Then we said our vows. We wrote our own. I really thought this would be my cue to weep. But I didn't feel emotional that way. I felt like my heart could soar. Like almost out of body. Hearing Jeff profess his love, his commitment, his joy, in front of all of our friends and family was beautiful. It gave me the confidence to read mine without falter. And before we knew it, we were pronounced man and wife and kissing and walking back down the aisle to Home. What a euphoric feeling. Officially being man and wife. Then all we wanted was AC. 

The rest of the night was magical. Over to soon. But every second memorable. Jeff and I may not have always been by each others sides, but I feel like I always could find him. Our eyes would meet, if only for a second, and my heart would do a little happy dance. My husband, I would think, and smile and move on to the next group of friends, the next conversation. We ate, we drank and we danced! We were showered with love during toasts. And we impressed on the dance floor too . At least I like to think we looked impressive, we took TWO dance lessons!

And then, the father daughter dance. And my tears. I love my daddy. There is something so symbolic about your wedding day. You father is giving you away. He is entrusting another man to take care of you. To be your rock. To love you unconditionally. And knowing my dad trusts Jeff with that enormous task, that with a happy heart, and his blessing he gave me in marriage to Jeff...it's a pretty powerful thing. And of course, the song we danced to didn't help matters. 

Then we danced. And danced and danced. The night was full of dancing, laughter, well wishes and love. It was the perfect ending to an incredible year. I say year because we spent well over a year planning this one, perfect day. I can't say it enough. It was a perfect day.