One Hour

I want to love this pregnancy. In fact, I feel guilty that I don't…at least not as much as the first time. I keep thinking how much I enjoyed being pregnant with Brody. I felt wonderful. I loved how my body was changing. I wasn't in a hurry for it to be over. Yes, I couldn't wait for him to be born, but I wanted him to cook for as long as he felt comfortable.

I don't feel that way this time. I know every pregnancy is different. And that is certainly true with #2.  I have more sick days than not. I feel more uncomfortable at night earlier than I did with #1. I am not thrilled about my body changes. Don't misunderstand me, I LOVE my baby, I LOVE my baby belly and I am nothing but grateful that I am with child. But I just…I worked really hard to lose my baby weight with Brody, and I loved the end result. Probably the best my body has looked and I have to be honest, I miss it already. I am ready for her to be here! I am sure it doesn't help that a few of my friends are already meeting their babies, it just makes me even more impatient to meet mine. To hold her and kiss on her.

One thing that has helped me connect more with her is prenatal yoga. I absolutely love it. I wish it was more than one hour once a week but that one hour is exactly what I need. It gives me the one on one time I rarely get at home to truly just focus on this pregnancy. It gives me the quiet to find my center. It helps me to just breathe. Seriously, who knew breathing alone could help recenter my entire week?! I love how my body feels while I am doing the poses and transitions. I love that I can feel Lola wiggle and move, it makes me feel like it's her way of telling me she loves the prenatal yoga too. It's something I didn't do with Brody, and although looking back, I wish I would have, I am kind of happy it's just something I share with Lola. It helps me to shake off all the negative feelings I get, all the frustrations I feel as a parent, and all the self-doubt that creeps up and makes me question my parenting abilities. I just breathe in deep, and as I breathe out I can just let it all go. I try to bring the breathing home with me. I am not always great at it, but when I feel like I am losing my temper or feeling overwhelmed with my very challenging little man, breathe,  pops into my head and I slow down. I slow down on my reaction, I breathe, I think, and it helps me reassess the situation, approach it differently then acting purely on my rising emotion. Other times, if I am feeling nauseous, which has been happening a lot lately (seriously, this is second trimester aren't you suppose to be long gone morning sickness?!?), I breathe. I focus solely on my breathing, on Lola get huge doses of oxygen, and it takes my mind off the bubbling in my stomach making me want to vom.

As I am writing this, I am realizing my prenatal yoga class is one key thing that is actually reminding me and helping me TO enjoy this pregnancy. It forces me to slow down, to connect with and really focus on the life growing inside of me. It makes me more aware of my body, of the constant changes, and the awesome ability it has to adapt to all the changes and to still move beautifully. I am really just so grateful that Limber Tree Yoga Studio offers a prenatal class and that I get to be a part of it! I am also thankful for my mom who makes it a point to come down every Wednesday and watch Brody so I can have my hour of peace. It's a win win. I get Lola time, Mom gets Brody time. We are all happy!