baby brain

I keep getting this overwhelming feeling of "be productive".  I don't even know what that means! But I also feel like I can't stay on top of things either. I'm starting to get worn out so much quicker these days. Sweep the kitchen and I'm ready to lay down. Go up and down the stairs with the laundry basket, workout done. In my mind though, I've convinced myself that there is some grand project looming in front of me that must be completed. At first I thought that was just my need to nest, and maybe it still is and since we are on a standstill with that I am going stir crazy. It's like the last link to feeling prepared for baby girls arrival. Or maybe I am just over the "clean clean clean" mentality. It feels impossible to keep our house clean or pile free. Where do the piles keep coming from?! Didn't I just organize and put everything away? It's like a pile troll is lurking out of sight, laughing as I go crazy trying to keep up. Even if I have a productive day, like say, we get up, make lunch, take it to Jeff, run some errands, come home, nap, play, make dinner; I still feel like I am not being productive enough. Maybe it's that I feel I should be taking advantage of the "freedom" of only having one child. Like, "hey Riley, you are going to have a newborn before you know it, enjoy your last gulp of the easy life." Not that chasing after a toddler is easy, but ya know what I mean…right? I'm not even sure I do. Is it anxiety over growing from one child to two? Worry that I am not enough for Brody how can I possibly be enough for Brody AND Lola?! I keep trying to remind myself to take it one day at a time. That's really all I can do. All of my worries are useless. And all I can know for sure is that there WILL be enough love.