ramblings of the sleep deprived

Man, I am tired. I am tired, and frazzled and achy and never ready to wake up.

I am overjoyed. I am delighted. I adore watching my son love on his sister.

I am stir crazy staying home so much but a bit terrified at venturing out on my own with two kids.

I am digging deep to find a well of patience because, you guys, a two year old is challenging. I love him to the moon but somedays…yikes. Today I cut out yellow hearts and stuck them all over our house. I read on another blog it helps remind a mom to be patient; take a breath. I can use the reminder.

yellow heart, messy house, patient mommy

I am trying to soak in every moment with my newborn. Not so easy this time around. Three weeks today she's been with us and I already feel like time is cruising by. My heart does not like that one bit.

I miss my husband. I thought it was hard prioritizing our relationship with one child, two is a whole other ball game. We seem to give each other less and last. I know in my heart, that after God, my husband should be next in line, not last. Another thing I need to work on…WE need to work on.

he's such a good daddy! I wanted to show a picture of the two of us but you guessed it,  a recent one doesn't exist!

I am trying so hard to not always put myself last. I think that will come with time and a little more effort. I'm also trying very hard to not put myself down when it comes to my post baby body. I'm actually surprised at how much smaller I already am this time around, but I still find myself near tears trying to find clothes that fit in my closet that make me feel good. It makes my yoga pants ten times more appealing.

Truth - I feel like I can't complete a coherent thought! I start things and then stop. I am permanently distracted; whether it's a crying child, a goofy child, the ding of the washer, the overflowing garbage. I start a task and something else always takes me away from it. I don't mind when it's my babies, and I am trying to not be so obsessed with keeping my house pristine. I mean, who am I kidding, even when I do get the living room "spotless" it's a disaster zone the minute Brody enters. I've read it time and time again, my kids aren't going to remember the spotless house, they are going to remember mommy getting down and playing with them, giving them my love and attention. I could seriously keep rambling but I'll spare everyone and end with this:

Daddy built Brody this awesome choo choo for Halloween and he is obsessed

I am obsessed with Lola and her adorable outfit