beautiful life

We finally got our maternity pictures we had taken in early September. I adore them. It has been bittersweet for me as I browse through them. I can't believe it's only been 3 1/2 weeks since I've been pregnant; since I had that big belly with Lola wiggling inside. It feels like a lifetime ago already. I'm so glad we got them done. At first I only wanted them done because we had them done when I was pregnant with Brody. But now that we have them they mean so much more. Our photographer captured so many precious moments between Brody and I.

 It will never matter that he's the oldest, he will always be my baby. I see it now more than ever, his growth. There is nothing baby about him anymore. Next to his sister he is all toddler. His hands so big and capable. His strong little legs, growing longer and even stronger. I can't get enough of his cuddles and love. I have to remind myself that someday he won't want to crawl onto my lap and wrap his arms around my neck. I remind myself so that I stop whatever I am doing and just cherish the moment. There is one thing he does still that he has done since he was a baby. When he's sleeping and stretching or just waking up and stretching he balls up his hands into fists and his wrists wiggle and shake. I LOVE that he still does this. I love when I catch him doing it. Sometimes I try to catch him waking up just to see it. Lola's newborn status has me reflecting so much on when Brody was a newborn. It makes my heart ache…just a little, at how quickly they grow and change. Even Lola is changing. Her body is getting chubbier, her cheeks becoming fuller. She will never stop changing, nor will Brody. Sometimes it's hard to see the changes, especially when you are with them every day all day. Sometimes you really have to stare at their faces, take inventory of their features to really see the growth. And my how it makes me long for time to stand still. For Lola to stay a newborn just a little longer, for Brody to stop growing like a weed and keep his little boy features. It startles me in pictures when he looks so grown. 

One of the things we really wanted done with our maternity pictures is to recreate some that we had done with Brody. I love seeing how Jeff and I have matured since then. Not so much physically but emotionally in our relationship with one another and as parents.  My heart catches seeing how our love for each other radiates from the pictures and how obvious it is that we adore our growing baby. 

I know I am extremely lucky to have been able to do maternity photo sessions with both of my pregnancies. I felt spoiled getting them done each time but I wouldn't have changed it for the world. They are images I will look at and adore for as long as I live. They signify so much more than just being pregnant. With Brody being our first I feel like our excitement was palpable through our pictures.  The first time my body changed to accommodate for growing life I felt beautiful. I loved being pregnant with him. I felt great and was in constant awe at what my body was capable of. I wish we could have been able to afford all the digital copies, I'd be sharing those like crazy right now showing the small differences between how I carried Brody compared to Lola. This second time around, with feeling sick more often I'm not so sure I felt beautiful. Once I saw what Miranda captured though, I instantly felt and saw beauty. I needed that. I needed to be reminded of the beauty of carrying a child, of how bodies change and grow to make room for the growing life within. I want for my daughter to be able to see how beautiful it is to carry life. I needed to be reminded that that big belly, now empty of child and loosened isn't "ugly" or "fat". It's a reminder of how amazing a woman's body is and what it is capable of. As my good friend said, the post baby body is beautifully frustrating. Which is so perfectly true. All I have to do though is look at these pictures, look at Brody and Lola and I know it's all worth it.