gifts at 2am

Last night was the first night we've had in a long time where Brody was up at 2AM. I woke up to the monitor going off to his moaning and little cries. He does that. It's not out of the norm. He's a noisy little sleeper. But after 30 minutes of consistent racket my mom alarm went off and I tiptoed into his room. I'm not sure he was even awake, but he was still making noise so I started to rub his back. He quickly went quiet. So I stopped and he started moaning again. It breaks my heart. So I pick him up and he snuggles into my neck and starts snoring. Heart grows bigger. I fall in love with him all over again. And I don't even mind that its 2:30 in the morning. I hold him like that for about 10 minutes and lay him back down in his crib. Eyes instantly shoot open and he cries out. I'm a weakling to Brody's whimpers. I pick him back up, he snuggles in, heart grows even bigger. This time I decide I'll just rock him in the glider for a bit. I mean, I insisted we buy that rocker for a reason! Listening to his bed time tunes, I hold my little boy close and whisper a thanks. There will never be enough thanks. We rock and rock, and he snuggles in closer, gets cozy, breathes heavy. I don't mind that I'm up. This quiet time with him, it's different than when he is up and cranky. This moment, it's unique. He's not always going to want to cuddle into me. I soak it in. By 3:15 I decide it's time to put him back in his crib. Again, eyes shoot open. I can't leave him. He has my heart tonight. Something about mommy is his comfort tonight. I decide we mine as well both be comfortable. I take him into our bedroom and lay down. He wakes up and crawls over to his daddy, lays his head next to Jeff's and smiles at me. How never ending my love feels. I start rubbing his back and tickling his face. He's mesmerized and his heavy lids fall. I can't stop watching him. He is giving me sleep smiles.  I stop rubbing his back hoping I might fall asleep too, but sure enough he wakes up. He rolls closer to me and is soon sharing my pillow. I start rubbing his back again, and like clock work, his lids close. Ahh, so this is what he wants tonight? Constant mom love. I can give him that. Brody is as restless a sleeper as his father. And as noisy too. Between Brody's snores, daddy's breathing and Remi's tiny sleep barks, I not only had a bed full, but I was doomed. I am one of those people who needs silence to sleep. The smallest interruption wakes me. Unless it's a consistent drone, I can't have noise. I smiled. I wouldn't have changed that moment. All my loves snuggled in one bed. Their noise, it means life. Vitality. Living, breathing wonder. Another thanks escapes my lips. I wouldn't have changed a moment of last night. Being up for two hours in the middle of the night, it doesn't even matter compared to how I got to spend that two hours. And the icing on my surprising cake: the smiles I woke up to. Dad's alarm woke us all up bright and early. And Brody was so excited to wake up in bed between mommy and daddy. He was even more surprised when Remi poked his head up from the foot of the bed and came stumbling over to Brody to give him morning kisses. This life, I would not trade it for anything. I think last night was a blessing in disguise. It made me realize how rich my life is. Sometimes you need those little hidden reminders. It's easy to start taking things for granted. Especially life. But the truth is, everyday is rich in blessings and its our choice to recognize those blessings and give thanks.