fake out

Ok doctors, I have a bone to pick with you. For starters lets start calling it our due "month", because let's be real, babies rarely come on their due date. Giving us a specific day ignites way to much hope and pressure. Secondly, please for the love of God, enough with "the baby could come any day". More false hope? I can't take it. I would rather be in the dark. Again, just say sometime this month.

Maybe I am a little harsh. Forgive me, I just had my first false hope with this baby. I went to the Dr. yesterday afternoon and was still only at 3 cm, which is fine I'm at 38 weeks. Of course, he tells me that when I do go into active labor it will be fast, so I got a little excited. Last night at about 9-ish I started having contractions. They'd last anywhere from 40 to 60 seconds, and occurred on average about every 7.5 minutes. I was getting excited. Jeff was getting even more excited! I kept waiting for them to get closer together and more intense and the meantime rest. Well, neither happened for quite awhile and then just like that they stopped. Husband slept, Brody slept, I tossed and turned. I woke up with a few light contractions but nothing to get my hopes up and have spent my morning since throwing up. Morning sickness? Really?

I am so thrilled to be having a girl, but already she's a handful. Brody was easy. He decided he was ready to come out and bam, 9 hours later and I was holding him. Lola…clearly, as most woman can attest, she can't make up her mind. In or out? Come on girl! I hate to get discouraged or feel negative about it. I'm trying so hard not to focus on going into labor. I want to stay busy living life like normal but it's so hard not to wonder if the little twitches I feel here or there, or contractions are leading to the big finale. I'm getting increasingly uncomfortable and the morning sickness traits coming back slow me down even more and all Brody wants is to play play play. This tight rope just got thinner.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. She will come when she is ready. Everything else is your body preparing for her birth. I keep telling myself that. My mantra I suppose. Helping? Not so much. I seriously hope the next time I write it's to shout from the rooftops….keyboard, that Lola is here! Pray for me friends! I need all the love, care, and patience I can get!