light bulb moment

I may have lost it just a little bit on that last post. I mean, this is a frustrating point during pregnancy but I stopped thinking about what was best for my growing baby and was only focusing on what I wanted. My light bulb moment first hit yesterday when I was starting to make a list of things I've read that can jump start labor. I was thinking about a tea I had read about and stopped short. Seriously Riley…tea? What happened to letting her come into the world when she's ready? That is how I was with Brody. During the end weeks with him I was convinced the longer the better. If he went a week over, no biggie. So I had never really put much pressure on the labor part because I had focused my mind on allowing him to  make that decision…so to speak. This time all I have been doing is putting pressure on my body and Lola to COME OUT NOW! I'm losing sight of what's important.

I'm sitting outside on a beautiful fall day. Brody is busy playing in the leaves that are beginning to fall and driving his cop truck. I started to walk some rounds around the yard and my warning light went off again. Stop pushing this labor thing. You don't need to walk circles! There's so much time left in the Lola birth window. Stop pushing so hard. Let it be. So while Brody was busy at play I sat cross legged on the deck and began my deep yoga breathing. At the beginning of our yoga classes we breathe, find our center, get grounded and set our intentions for the class, for the day and week ahead. I did that. I sat in the warmth of the sunshine, began to breathe deep, and set my intentions for the final days of this pregnancy.

She will come when she is ready. My body is preparing for her journey, she is preparing for her journey. Enjoy these last days. Enjoy the one on one with Brody. Enjoy the windows of peace and quiet. Enjoy the simplicity of only loading one child up to run errands. As hard as it is to not constantly think about going into labor at any given moment, I have to intentionally set my mind on the things that are actually happening right now. Not what will happen at some point. I don't think I'm the only one who struggles with being in the moment. Even when you aren't pregnant it is hard. But allowing myself to just pause, to breathe and to set my intentions…it makes a huge difference. Besides, if Lola had already come I wouldn't have been able to capture this moment:

and to me, this is absolutely priceless.